We all lost in 2020. I have noticed as the year has gone on, we seem to be getting angrier and angrier. It started as a rumble but it has risen to a an angry mob at this point. I have come to realize that we have all lost something this year. Some have lost lots and some have lost a little but we have all lost. There are no winners in 2020. But here is what I discovered, all that anger is really grief. We are not mad, we are sad. The sadness festered and disguised itself as anger.
Slow Fade
From a distance it may seem like everyone has different levels of grief but we are all angry because we all lost in 2020. As we look at each others losses we may think one person is more entitled to their anger than others but we need to realize that a loss is a loss. We all lost in 2020. It started as withdraw from conversations and normal practices. As the days turned into weeks, turned into months the grief overcame many of us and turned into anger. If you sit long enough with your anger you will find it is grief. We need figure out what we lost, name it and then take the time to really grieve that loss.
Be Gentle With Yourself
You don’t want the anger to become a permanent feature in your life. A certain amount of anger is healthy but we can’t live there. Anger is something we need to work through to find some relief. Kind words can be like honey to your soul. When you are angry you forget to be kind to yourself. Anger can feel uncontrollable. It’s like burning lava threatening to spill over and devastate everything around us. You may even want to the anger to spill over. It all starts with you. You must first identify what your anger feels like. Are you feeling it in your body, maybe tears flow, your fist clenches or you feel a burning sensation in your body. Acknowledge the feelings and take action. Start with being kind to yourself and grow from there, we all lost in 2020.
Noticing Triggers
We may not even notice that we are angry. But you may notice that reactions to everyday situations have changed. Has your road rage increased? Do you find yourself responding to social media posts more than usual? Are your responses different than you may have done in the past? Take the time to be honest with yourself and your reactions to situations each day. You may even notice that others are treating you differently because of your anger. Take note of any changes in your body or any sensations that you may not be used to. Once you notice the triggers you will be more aware. You can start to deal with the real problem when you can stop the reaction before it gets out of control.
Taking Responsibility
Yes, we all lost in 2020 but we must still take responsibility for our actions. Once we are aware that we have let our grief grow into anger, we need to start to addressing the grief. There are many tools we can use to deal with our anger and grief. The first step is acknowledging that we let our grief go so long that it became anger. Once we realize why we are angry then we can start to deal with the grieving process of what we have lost. It doesn’t matter if you have lost a lot or a little, a loss is a loss and you have the right to your feelings. Take responsibility for your actions and start the healing process. It may be as simple as talking to someone near to us who can help us process it or we may need to seek professional assistance. All you need to do is take the first step to end the cycle.
